Sometimes one does not need inspiration to do something.

When I was a lot immature-r, I looked for things or a way to inspire myself before I can work. You know, the typical, listen to this song, look at this artwork, read a literary piece to get myself to work. It's just lately that I realized, I cannot live like that forever. Sometimes, I just have to deal with the insurmountable pressure and face it. JUST FACE IT.

Eto, nagsisipag-sipagan. I guess that I'm just in pursuit of a dream. Sometimes, the dream doesn't even inspire me anymore. So I have to put all my childish thoughts at the back of my head and do my job.

It's true, what they say. You don't have to like a thing in order to excel in it. You have to find happiness in it. (Or something like that). I'll just type that in again when my phone's not on an empty battery.

Ayun, pala.

I have to type my partial English research paper. Masipag? Quite. But not quite.

what do you do when you can't let go?



stalk the other girl's profile and think that she's pretty. and that they look good together.


yup, hurt yourself.


then decide that it's not worth it.



oh, damn you *****!

Please thank God for all your blessings. =)

God has given me a miracle. He gave me a time-out from all the stress. It's true. God won't give you a problem you can't solve.

Wala lang. kasi i'm so glad that there are no classes, I have time to catch up with all my PGC readings.

Readings I haven't read:
-Philippine Bill of 1902
-Philippine Consti
-Tydings McDuffie
-another document which name I do not know

Theology report= half done
Immanuel Kant= powerpoint presentation and analyzation of core philosophies


Bangs rock.
Last Tuesday I had my hair cut. Shoulder length layered with BANGS. It's been seven years since I last had bangs. Sorry, no pix yet, Haven't gone to the Bluetooth station.

PS The GUY (I insist!) who cut my hair was wafu. He's a guy, I insist!

LET GO.
I'm letting go of you. I give up.
And then the fucking txt message.

kung magmamahal
ako sana ikaw na lang



pero matimbang
ang pagiging
magkaibigan,



kaya pinili kong
maging ganun
na lang





hindi dahil hindi kita mahal,





kung hindi mas pinili ko
kung saan tayo...






magtatagal. =)


oh shit.
maganda na sana, may smiley face lang!!! grr.

11.14.06
the topic lumen gentium was tasked to be reported. powerpoint presentation to be passed on 11.28.06 in cd format.

11.22.06
the quest for lumen gentium begins. the hunt was almost successful, except that the book was not allowed for check-out.

11.23.06
the document was found in the ecclesistical library and photocopied. put away for future (ehem...) use.

11.26.06
two days 'til deadline.

what have i done?

NOTHING.

Second sem, so far, is fun. Our profs are diligent, which makes the students share the same enthusiasm.

Let's start with PGC [Philippine Government and Constitution], because I enjoy this subject very much.

Shet, terror. First day. The first thing I noticed about the prof was her pretty orange/ brown dress with a belt. It was a dress picked with good taste, except that it had a .25 thick belt. Of course the eyes will move toward the belt. Wrong move.
I didn't want to make eye contact with her, as I thought I'd melt in my seat. You know that feeling, that when a person looks at you, you'd want to melt in fear?
Assignment: Treaty of Paris.
Second meeting. The night before, I spent two hours reading and rereading the Treaty of Paris, underlining the main points and making notes. That's what a student does when he/she is afraid of a prof, right? I was so shocked because she became gentler. I love her now. and I've done her advance assignment. [philippine bill of 1902]

English 101B. Communication Skills in English II.

Danzel (a friend from Sociology) said that this prof does not give boys a failing grade. Since I hated English 101A [I got a 1.00 prelim grade and a 1.75 grade from my Eng101A prof with no effort at all since all she taught was crap] i thought I might hate Eng101B too. But nooooooooooo. It was only the first meeting and I've already learned a lot, from the difference of a few and few, little and a little, etc. I love it. I love the prof. I also love his name. And how he teaches. And how he's so great.

Phl2. Logic.

I wanted to roll in laughter. He gave chocolate to everyone who was able to give the correct answer. What was that, kindergarten class? Kulang na lang sticker at stamp na may star at Very Good!!!
Translate this: I do not dislike you.
Anak ng tetkwa!*
I LIKE YOU!
Siyempre sa pretty girl niya pina-translate.
Be happy, because they gave you the best. Yeah right. I still think Dr Co is the best there is. Where can you find a prof who dances on the platform, entertains his audience, and lies on the table, teaches the degrees of aesthetics?
Despite all the chocolate giving, I'll enjoy this class. Waha. Tama ang mga sagot ko. Whee!

Lit102. Filipino Literature in English.

You know that feeling, when you're in a class and you feel like you're watching a comedy show? I was so shocked when our prof suddenly crossed her eyes. Disturbing. Haha.
But since I like reading Filipino Lit [hail hail Nick Joaquin, Carlos Bulosan, NVM Gonzales, Bienvenido Santos, Jose Garcia Villa, Lualhati Bautista] and the teacher's fun, if I don't get a grade in the line of 1, I'm going to regret this forever.

CWG. Contemporary World Geography.

Eto naman, parang talk show. Buti sana kung PGC 'to eh, maiintindihan ko pa kung bakit natin pinag-uusapan ang dalawang senador na nagsuntukan.

Math 101.

Sets. Tapos di ko pa masagutan. Line of 9 pa naman Math ko buong first year. Yun nga palang libro ko nung first year ay binigay ko kay RR. Tapos yung notebooks ko may humiram. Tsktsk.

Phl 202. Western Philosophy.

Reporting na naman?!?! Sawa na ako sa reporting, di naman ako nakikinig. Dahil sa reporting, tres ang grado ko sa Eastern Philosophy [dapat kasi tinuturo yang Yoga, Brahman, Atman, Vedanta, Nyaya, Charvaka, Lokayata, Vaishesika na yan eh!]
Pero ayos pa rin. Makikipagkaibigan na kami kina Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, St. Thomas, St. Albert, St. Augustine, Immanuel Kant, Karl Marx, Rene Descartes, Sigmund Freud, at... FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


sabi ko na nga ba.

*lagi kang nasa dorm mo.
*nung monday, humihingi ako ng favor na magpasama sa sm, sabi mo darating tita mo. [aian, dito na ako nagduda. alam ko nang mag-eenroll ka]

pakshet, mehn!

nung tuesday night, pinababa ako sa dorm. alam ko namang pumasok siya at nag-enroll. langya. sabi ba naman eh uuwi na siya ng probinsya niya, bumisita lang siya. magpapaalam daw. sige lang. sure. ayaw ko talaga maniwala sa sinasabi niya. kasi ilang beses na niya ako pinagtataguan ng mga ganun. haha. hindi naman ako makapagsalita, kasi baka magalit lang ako sa kanya. ai, basta, masaya ako. nag-enroll pa rin siya.

basta pinuntahan niya pa ako para sabihing nag-enroll siya. dapat masaya na ako di ba?

medyo lang.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*tetkwa= hybrid ng teteng at tokwa. Pauso ni Keren Kesiah Yap.

emo lines. disorganized mind.

it was only lit101. if i failed in any subject, i would have cried and picked myself up again. after all, life will still go on and would not wait for me to fix my life. nako, at umiyak pa ako nung sabi mong hindi ka nag-enroll. o, at nasan ka na? ayan, naglalasing na araw-araw. wag ka mag-d-drugs ah. natatakot na ako para sa future mo. sayang. ganda pa naman ng course mo. catalyst for change.
kahit na araw-araw kita tine-txt para ma-prevent ang pag-inom mo, ang tindi mo ah, inom pa rin habang tintxt ako! at buti tama pa ang mga characters. astig. haha.
sana naman someday mapalitan ko ang isip mo. i want to make a change in the world, i've started with myself, you're my second victim!
nako... haha. hindi na tayo magkikita. pero sana dumalaw ka sa uste. wala na akong kasama sa mga lakad. hindi na ako makakapunta sa mga games kasi hindi ka na maglalaro. wala na akong i-ch-cheer. ma-mis-miss ko yung tumatambay tayo sa hallway tapos pangiti-ngiti. astig yun. gusto ko pa naman na mag-lib tayo. gagawa tayo ng mga nosebleed na paper! tapos papalabasin tayo ng librarian kasi sobrang ingay natin. kahit na minsan napaka-mundane ng mga pinag-uusapan natin. at least may sense at intellectually stimulating. hindi yung simpleng, "oo, hindi, ano yun?" lahat, may reaction ka. lahat alam mo. astig di ba? at kahit na minsan tingin ko mayabang ka, haha, nag-eenjoy naman ako. nako, hindi ko naman alam noon na mahilig ka pala sa music. alam ko lang nun athlete ka. eh naman, haha... wala lang. natutuwa lang ako kasi napansin kong lahat ng damit mo e itim. tanungin mo kung ilan ang itim kong damit. apat. at isa lang ang ginagamit ko. lahat e white at pastel colors. oo nga! tama! i shall bring color to your colorless world!



My second sem is going to be lonely without you.



P.S. Kain tayo donuts pag nagkita tayo! Mwah!

edited last November 12, 2006, 10:34 am

Where there's excitement, there's conflict.
And how I hate conflict.

So there. My life lacked excitement. It was the same old routine: wake up at 6:30 (6:15 if I'm lucky), prepare myself for school, go to school, listen to lectures, eat with my blockmates, hang out at the field, go back to my dorm, eat dinner, txt, read, and sleep.

I was looking for a way to be happy.

Shouldn't I be contented with the life I had? I saw it as perfect, after all. Then trouble came. I wanted something else from what I had.

So there. I was looking for excitement. I should have known. I got what I wanted. And as George Bernard Shaw said,

There are two tragedies in life:
To gain your heart's desire;
The other, to lose it.

Now there's excitement! (tadaaah!)



Why do we make simple things complicated?

When we seek for something other than what we usually have, we are looking for conflict, trouble.

When people are happy, they will be happy for a while but they will find uneasiness in their being happy. Uneasy in their newfound bliss, they will look for or create conflict.


Sometimes, when people are happy, they get tired of it. Seeing that the old things that have once made them happy does not make them happy anymore, they look for other things that will make them reach happiness.



Lately, i've been listening to a lot of rock music (which i never really liked that much) and it made me think that i wasn't as open-minded as i thought i was. and yes, to spare you the hatred, i'm beginning to like it.

Miguel Chavez, you are the first man I've seen who looked good with black eyeliner.

Happy 2nd year of blogging to me!


It was May 2 when I first posted my first post (how redundant) on my first blog. Two years and four blogs later, here I am!

Kim, I like reading your blogs. Also Mae's.

^That's something Gillian posted on Kim's blog. I was reading her old entries and I stumbled upon this comment.

http://hrh-kim.livejournal.com/46098.html?view=32530#t32530

Thank you Jill! You're one of the reasons why I keep this blog going on. (Naks, sipsip.) Alam kong nandyan ka lang, silently reading my posts.

Oo nga pala. Bakit mo nagustuhan blog ko? Curious lang.



Been up all night typing 18 pages of medical stuff for my mom. She needed it for a seminar. So if you're wondering where I get my spelling prowess (as if I do have it), blame it on my mom's pediatrics, anatomy (all time favorite), surgery, and other medical textbooks. Nerdy, but I read them. I creep out when I see the derma books. Away, please! Away! I hate the pictures! They creep me out! But I have to say those books have made my creep-o-meter high. I can eat while discussing semen, open wounds, circumcision, and all those stuff while eating. Thanks to my mom who discusses TB and other diseases while we eat dinner.
Two to three class discussions about the five major noncommunicable diseases (ncds) I learned in one night! Alavet!

*bronchial asthma... cancer... aflatoxin*

Random trivia:
Aflatoxin or the molds in peanut cause liver cancer.

Aside: You now have reasons to go back to my blog! You learn random trivia!

Makes me remember. Almost everyone in my family works in/ is studying the field of medicine/ health sciences. Guess I'll be the first one na "maligaw ng landas". Maybe I'll land there too, soon. Maybe I might shift to Psychology and decide that I want to be a psychiatrist and work in the National Institute for Mental Health. I love psychos.



PBB Update:
This will now be a regular thing for my blog. I watch spinoffs of it four times a day- the 11 o'clock show in Studio 23, 6:30 on Studio 23, Primetime, and Uplate. And yes, I always make it a point to watch the Updates. I like Bianca better than Mariel. Bianca has already established herself as a host, while Mariel still has problems enunciating and pronounciating.

I like the Olyn-Matt loveteam! Can you just please let her stay until Saturday so we can watch the romance bloom? Forget Olyn's boyfriend! She should know better and dump him for the meantime. Now I know why they always pair up artistas. Thank you whiteboards.



Got this from my e-mail.

SEPTEMBER
Suave and compromising
Careful, cautious and organised
Likes to point out people's mistakes
Likes to criticize
Quiet but able to talk well
Calm and cool
Kind and sympathetic
Concerned and detailed
Trustworthy, loyal and honest
Does work well
Sensitive
Thinking
Good memory
Clever and knowledgeable
Loves to look for information
Must control oneself when criticising
Able to motivate oneself
Understanding
Secretive
Loves sports, leisure and travelling
Hardly shows emotions
Tends to bottle up feelings
Choosy especially in relationships
Loves wide things
Systematic

Suave? Nu-uh. I hate compromising at times, just because I don't get my way. Careful? I'm accident prone. Cautious? I rewind everything I do in my head. Organized? Nope. I don't really like to point out others' mistakes, only when the need arises. I'm not good in pointing out criticisms since I only see the good side. That means I'm not that knowledgeable to criticize. Because when you know how to critique something, it means that you're knowledgeable about that certain field. I guess I'm quiet on ocassions needed. I don't know if I talk that well though. Nu-uh. True. Nu-uh. Keep the mouth shut. I can say that I do work well. Someone once said that I'm sensitive. I think therefore I am! My memory has decreased. I've got goiter. I'm very curious about the things I'm passionate and interested in, so I always do a web search. Whether it's on the last movie I saw, my phone, a layout I saw on a blog, etc. Must control oneself when criticising. I'll remember that. How do you motivate yourself? Seems that I have lost my touch. Nonetheless, once true. My mom says I am secretive. I don't know. So not true. I only love leisure and travelling. I am moody, which means my emotions always sway and people see it. I don't bottle up feelings. They always show subconsciously. Please exaggerate what those wide things are. But I say I love new things. My mom says that I have to learn how to be systematic.

Whew! What a long post!

enjoy nga ba? medyo. hindi ko naturuan ang MATTHEW. it should have been my last period, pero there was a program. if only i could.

of course, teaching IV- ST. MATTHEW was not my priority. all I wanted to do was to teach.

anyway... there are rumors that boys from IV- ST. MATTHEW are teasing me to my angel glenn.
*so I was walking in the gym to my seat. i told ria to get the digicam from kim to take pics. then,

     people: (smirking from the back, pushing the guy at the end of the line)
     mae: (busy concentrating at what she's saying to ria) ui, can you get the digicam from kim? can you please take pictures for the forum? please borrow it from her.
     people: (louder laughing and teasing)
     ria: kanino?
     mae: (getting irritated and worried that the people are laughing at her) kay kim.
     ria: ah, okay, sige.
     mae: (shots a killer look at the guy at the end of the line. <WHAT A PRETTY FACE!> si glenn.)

kevin carl reyes and whoever is your accomplice, lagot ka sa akin! hehe.*

back to kwento.

woke up earlier than usual. excited eh. napansin ko lang, 6:30 na, wala pa si kuya ynoi, he fetches me at 6:15. i text-ed him.
Mae: Kuya Inoy, nasaan na po kayo? Mae
Kuya Inoy: dyan n kmi

I waited for 5 minutes more and Kuya Inoy arrived. Extra late.

In the service, I sat at the back of my angel glenn. As always, he was seated in front of the service. Enjoy!

*Masarap kaya yung titingnan mo yung crush mo then bigla siyang titingin sa'yo. Then he'll shyly take his eyes off you and smile. Kilig!!!*

( fashion statement )

Went to the gym. We had our assembly at the entrance of the gym with the teachers and other student teachers who didn't have advisory classes. Ma'am Angeline wowed the students with her speech.
Student Principal: Good morning, every-ONE. My dear students...
very Ma'am Calimag-ish.

First period was vacant.
Second period was hell.

Gabriel. I arrived there when the bell rang. I opened the door. So as not to be embarrassed, I called their student teacher, Ma'am Ronessa. Chika minute muna! She told me that Gabriel was kind naman. As she left the classroom, she said, "Magpakabait kayo ha? Nandito na yung teacher niyo."
I was so nervous. As in. My hands were shaking. I told myself that I've been a student teacher for two times, and this should be a piece of cake. Nu-uh.
Bait ng president nila. Such a darling.
At first, they were noisy. When I faced the board, aba, biglang tumahimik. Nakakatakot. Scary, men. real scary.
Highlight of this class: The game. I asked them to write the future perfect verb phrase on the board. Compensation on the boringness of the teacher.
Highlight #2: Students are all noisy. Then, creepy silence takes in.

Basta hell. I reviewed past perfect tense. Then I taught future perfect tense. Namali pa ako, because I didn't notice that I wrote will/shall + has/have + past participle. Ni-correct pa ako ng mga students. How embarrassing. Pero masaya yung game. I learned a lot naman. Which was useful in my later classes.

Anthony! Ang saya. I taught them how to write the Acknowledgment for their research paper. I prodded all of them to write, I checked their works, I helped them when they were at a loss of words. Enjoy!
Highlight of this class: Fafa Roldan asked me if he could include me in the list of people he can thank. I smiled and said, "If you want." In my mind I was thinking, "Oo naman! Sa totoo lang, nung una, naisip ko, I'll beg on my knees para isulat mo yung name ko. Hehehe."
Highlight #2: 
     Mae: Ang ikli naman! (the Acknowledgment)
     Philip: Eh Ma'am, yan lang yung i-th-thank ko eh.
     Mae: Parents mo?
     Philip: Ma'am, hindi naman po nila ako tinutulungan eh.
     Mae: Kahit financially?
     Philip: Ma'am wala pa po ako eh.
     Mae: I-thank mo yung girlfriend mo, yung boyfriend mo.
     Class: Yihii, Cantos, i-thank mo raw si Mae!
Hehehe. Natawa ako.

Benedict. Enjoy! At first, I was a bit perplexed. Ang gulo ng class nila! But to think, ha, that this class always wins first place in almost all of the competitions in their year level. Ang kalat ng classroom!
Highlight #1: Walang books ang mga students.
Highlight #2: Walang notebooks ang mga students.
Highlight #3: Shy daw sila.
Highlight #4: Nakilala ko si crush. Not actually crush. Type lang. Christian ang name niya, and his handwriting is beautiful. Napahiya ko nga siya eh. Napatayo ko kasi hindi nakikinig. Naiisip ko tuloy... Ang lupit ko pala.
Highlight #5: May water bottle sa blackboard. May lamang tubig.
Highlight #6: Bawat minuto, ma-di-disrupt ang class mo dahil may nakatok.
Highlight #7: Hihiram ang klase ng mga libro sa lahat ng mga classroom.
Highlight #8: Jeremiah Antonio, 1st place, Regional Oratorical Contest: 1/4 + 4 = 8
Highlight #9: Mae: 1/4 + 4/1 = 1
                       Class: Wow naman Ma'am, hindi lang English, pati Math!
Highlight #10: Dito ka lang makaka-experience ng flying brooms, basaan, flying chalks, wrestling, and boxing all in one classroom. Enjoy.

( Jude )

Enjoy.

*Kilig si Mae:
Angel Glenn! Hehehe."

Parinig-parinig pa ako sa service na tuwang-tuwa ako at linagay ako ni "Fafa Roldan" sa acknowledgment niya. Parinig lang yun kay Angel Glenn ko.

Hmm. Di kasi maintindihan yun eh. Yun bang, akala mo gusto ka niya, pero hindi. Kasi mabait lang talaga siya sa lahat ng mga babae.

A basta.

After school. we went to eat fishball for the second time this week. Ni-libre ko ulit sila ng gulaman, which is all I can libre them without feeling guilty.

Wala lang. Last Wednesday kasi, I noticed that my angel glenn was always following. Whenever I'd go to this side of the stand, he'll go there... discreetly. Then when I move, susundan na naman ako. He was so cute then. He was wearing a *GREEN!* muscle shirt. talaga naman. napapansin ko lang, ha, lagi nang green ang sinusuot niya nowadays. Is it mere coincidence or what?

Take the Ticke IQ test. Click at this link.